she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
