Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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