are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
