I feel like abortions should bother me more
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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