let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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