Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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