Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
