So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
