oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
