At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
