we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
