new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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