I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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