yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
