Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
