the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
