No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
