yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
