my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
