how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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