OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
