This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
