How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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