Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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