I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They took my balls.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
