the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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