Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
