I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
