I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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