he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
