i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize