i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
