Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
