Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
