I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
