just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
