is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
