Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
