this boner is exhausting
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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