She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
