I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize