If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
