Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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