You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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