thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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