ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
