Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
