I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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