Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
