I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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