you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
