I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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