Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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