People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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