So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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