he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
